was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
