I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
