Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
