Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
