Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
