just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
