Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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