I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
try to milk me bitch
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
