Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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