Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize