1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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