CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
