He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
