And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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