i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
