today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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