Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
