I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
