Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
