How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
