We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize