I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I am naked and annoyed.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
