Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Randomize
