This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize