Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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