Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
