Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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