While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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