That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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