I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
