what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
