You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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