Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize