he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
