even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
