Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
