what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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