come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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