nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize