I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
