Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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