Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
