please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
everyone is single if you try hard enough
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
