matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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