Sponge bath it is.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
