There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
