This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize
