Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
