I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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