she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
