with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
