how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
