Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I am naked and annoyed.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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