I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Sorry my hands just texted you
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
