Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
