I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
