I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
