The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
We had to coat check the pizza.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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