I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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