Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i think i have two assholes
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
