I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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