wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
